I went to a party once and everyone was supposed to pitch in some money to buy adderall. I had never tried or even heard of it but I was young and stupid so I gave them 20 bucks. Later on, after we all took it, everybody was going crazy and having a good time and I was just sitting on the couch quietly so I googled ‘adderall’ on my phone and learned that it’s used to treat ADHD.
I have ADHD.
I paid 20 dollars to calm down.
Sometimes I thibk of people I’ve fallen out with, and Ive wondered if they ever think of me as much as I think about them. And then I wonder if they’re waiting for me to reach out to them.
Then I think about what they’ve said and how the falling out happened:
And that’s when I realized that I can’t wait for one persom forever. That I have to move on. And sometimes, I hope that they’ll catch up and we can be friends again. That we can have a relationship again.
These thoughts usually happen when I’m
Late night window shopping and going ‘oh so and so would Like that’
And briefly entertain the possibility of buying it and wrapping it and hiding it somewhere that if we ever had a friendship and they Came over and I could
Pull it out.
If I died and they came to pay their respects and my mom found it and they would cry because they realized that even if they gave up on me,
I never gave up on them and that they should have not just thrown me away when I didn’t agree with them or serve the correct purpose.
Guess thinking like this means I’m still not over being stabbed in the back by someone I loved :/
English, College of the Holy Cross
The Theatrical Imagination of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle